Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (part 2)

Hey, Rockstar is your host, Reggie Daughson, again, Being On Stage podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. I took some time off for the holidays. I apologize, there wasn't any notice given. I just celebrated nine years with my girlfriend, as well as Christmas and New Year's. So I apologize. It's been about three weeks since I've done a show, but we're back. One of the things I did over the past three weeks was I did some work on where I'm going with the show.

And where are my coaching and consulting businesses going as far as live entertainment, live performance, and entertainment coaching. And I do have some announcements at the end of this show. So that's something to stick around for and listen to the end. But today is actually kind of a continuation of episode six. So just to recap, so you don't have to go back and listen to the whole thing.

Episode six was about comparing yourself to others and not focusing on other people's success. Instead, working on yourself to have the success that you want. The success that you desire and the success that you want. And one of the things that I got to thinking about when I went back and listened to the previous episode was there's also another way that comparing your success to others can go.

So what I had talked about was I talked about getting down on yourself because you're not successful like other people. There's a whole other path that you can take if you get into the business of comparing yourself to others. And it's a dark and dangerous path. It's a dangerous path to travel down. And it's the path of jealousy. And sometimes it may not even be someone who's better than you.

It could be someone who's equal to you. I've had a couple instances of jealousy in my own career path. And I'll tell you, it puts you in a pretty dark place. It makes you do and say things that you just never imagined you'd hear yourself say. And even now, I'm 31 years old now. And none of these things happened as much as 10 or 12 years ago. And I'm looking back at it going, man, I was an ass.

One of the things that comes to mind is there was an entertainer that started around the same time as I did. And I actually talked about this entertainer in the Confidence episode 3. I actually talked about this entertainer. Won the contest that she continued to put off and put off and not wanted to do. But we actually competed in that contest that she won. And I got, I mean, I was insanely jealous of the success that she was having.

Starting just, you know, six, she started like four months after I started entertaining. And I was insanely jealous of the immediate success that she had and like the immediate following of people. And I didn't see why she had it and I didn't. I got really jealous, man. I did some really hurtful things and said some really hurtful things to her. And actually to some of her fans and her followers as well.

Thinking about it. Thinking about it now, it's like, you know, I can't believe I said those things to another entertainer. I can't believe I did that to someone while they were performing and on stage. Like I was totally unprofessional towards this person. And like thinking back now, it's like, man, you just were in a completely dark place. That's one of the things that kind of realize now is there's not a need to compete with other people.

You know, and that's something that I want to put out there is you don't need to compete with anybody. And like if you have an unspoken competition and that's what we used to call it. And I guess by saying that I kind of made it a spoken competition. We used to joke around about it. But now you think about it's like, oh, I got this unspoken competition with this person. It's like, why?

Because that's that's in your head. Like that's in your head that you have this competition with this person. It's OK to say, you know, hey, you have an amazing following so soon. You know, great job. Great work. It's OK. Give compliments and to recognize that they're working hard at what they're doing. And that's that's the truth of it is they were just working hard. And my jealousy should have actually been admiration.

But it turned into jealousy and put me in a really, really dark place. That's where you can go. Like if you continue to compare yourself to other people and and you get jealous of their success. So you may get down on yourself. But like another step is you get angry and you get jealous of. Of what they're doing instead of focusing on yourself. So, you know, like bad mouthing other people and just disrespecting their performances.

It doesn't do anything positive for you. Jealousy only brings negativity. I'll tell you, bad mouthing somebody or doing something disrespectful to them or trying to make them look bad because you're jealous of their success. It doesn't it doesn't do anything. It does absolutely nothing. It just causes more animosity between you. And. I can't stress it enough. The place that you are in when you are jealous is just depressing and dark and just cold and just nasty.

Like you don't want to put yourself there because I promise 10 years from now, you're going to look back at yourself and you're going to say, what in the hell was wrong with me? Because I do it. I had another instance where I was so jealous of this entertainer that had been doing it. He'd been doing it much longer than I had. He. He worked much harder. You know, he took care of himself.

He put work into every aspect of his shows. And I see it now. But I got I got so jealous of him and his posse, if you will, like his group of entertainers. I I established a brand, a brand of hate. Like, imagine that, like I created and it wasn't just I mean, it was a group of people, but I'll I'll own up to it. I created this this brand, if you will, like. I'm not going to say what it was because it's way beyond me.

I'm not going to get into it, but I created this brand of hate. I branded something. I created a saying with with my friends that we'd go around and we joke about and everything. I created this brand of hate towards these entertainers. I kind of got a shove to my face because they found out about it and they turned it around. They flipped it on us. They totally owned it and actually made money in the process.

So, you know, that's but that's the that's the difference between the professionals and the unprofessionals. I was. Very unprofessional. I've gone through this. And one of the things I realized is when you when you have these people that you're jealous of, first and foremost, you got to recognize it in yourself. I mean, if you were saying hurtful things to other entertainers and trying to tear them down, why, why do you feel this way?

Because I guarantee if you really stop and think about it, it is jealousy. And instead of being jealous and instead of tearing these entertainers down. You need to focus on what you are doing. You need to focus on your art, focusing on them and tearing them down and trying to prove that they're not as good as you. Instead, you need to turn your jealousy into action and put yourself just work on getting yourself better.

Don't worry about what other entertainers are doing. If someone comes and even steals a gig from you, who cares? Go get another one. If you are confident and you are motivated and you have inspiration, you can continue to grow without tearing down other artists. This is true in relationships. This is true on stage. This is true in business. This is true in finances. This is true in housing and everything.

This is true. Jealousy stems from insecurities in ourselves. Jealousy does not stem from jealousy. Jealousy does not stem from they worked harder than me. Jealousy does not stem from their success. It stems from you and what's in your head and in your heart and what you're doing in your life. Your insecurities is what's causing this jealousy. So if you walk around tearing down other artists, it is true what they say.

It does make you feel good. I'm not going to lie to you. Tearing in the moment. In the moment when I did it. When I was young and dumb. Dumb and stupid and immature and unprofessional. It felt really good to tear them down. It did. I felt powerful. I felt like I was on top of the world. I felt like I was better than them because I had the capability of tearing them down. I had the capability of making them turn that brand of hate around on me.

I had the capability of putting that entertainer quote unquote in their place. I had that capability. I had that power over them to bring out their hate. But that's all it does is it keeps bringing out more hatred, more animosity, more unprofessionalism. And quite frankly, it literally brings out a monster in people. But it feels really good in the moment. But trust me, as it continues to grow and as you continue to hate on these people and to try to tear them down and to try to quote unquote put them in their place. it is going to create a person in you you that you never thought you would be and that you will not recognize in 10 years because you're going to grow.

I mean, you're going to grow out of it. But part of the way of growing out of it is realizing what it is and realizing that it's not OK. Instead of tearing these people down and instead of making them feel like crap, you need to turn around and work on yourself. Why are you insecure in your performances? Why are you insecure when you walk on that stage? Why are you not secure in yourself and your own success?

I'm going to tell you why. It's because you're not working hard enough. They are successful. And I can't say this enough. I said this in the last podcast. But if you've progressed to a point of jealousy, it needs to be said in a different way. They are successful because they have worked for their success. You are not successful because you have not. Jealousy is an ugly, ugly thing. And if people can see it on you, they are not going to follow you.

They are not going to come to your shows. The more you tear down other artists, the more fans and friends and followers you will lose. You will not gain people by tearing others down. You will lose them because if you're going to tear down them, you're going to tear down everybody else that tries to even come close to you. Stop tearing others down. Turn your jealousy into action. Get feedback.

You should feel comfortable enough to walk up to this person that you're jealous than and say, hey, listen, can we work together? Can you help me out? Because if you can't, you are not in a position where you are ready to be the best entertainer you can be. You can only continue to grow as an entertainer if you can recognize these things in yourself and put a stop to them. You can't let jealousy control you.

It is okay to feel it, but you need to recognize that and turn that into action. You need to feel it. You need to feel it. You need to feel it. You need to turn that into confidence and you need to work harder. You got to push yourself. You have to continue to grow as an entertainer. If you want the success that you're jealous of, you're jealous of their success because you're not there yet.

The key word there is yet. I love the word yet. I could do an entire podcast on the word yet because what it means is that it's coming. You have the capability and the tools and the gifts and the talents, to get where you want to be. That person that you're jealous of, you can get there if you work hard. Nothing is going to fall in your lap. Even if you are just a naturally talented person, everything to you has come naturally.

You're eventually going to find somebody that is better than you and you're going to have to work hard if you're going to grow. That's really what you want. Focus on what you want. Why did you start entertaining? Why did you start performing? Did you start performing for other people? Did you start performing so that you could be better than that person? No. I guarantee you started performing because you love what you do.

You love the feeling of being in front of a crowd. You love the energy you feel while you're on stage. You love the reactions, the interactions. You just love that feeling and that energy flow that you get when you are on stage in front of people and they are connecting with you and they are feeling what you are putting out. That's why you entertain. Not to be better than Joey. Not to be better than Donna.

You entertain because you love what you do. You love what you do. You love what you do because you love the energy. You love the feeling of being on stage and the minute you lose sight of that, the minute you start tearing down other entertainers, you have lost sight of what you started this for. You have lost sight of yourself as an entertainer and you need to get that back. You need to get that back because you've got gifts and talents to share but you cannot do it if you are a jealous monster.

Keep on shining. So Rockstars, as I said at the beginning, a couple of announcements in regards to being on stage. One, you will notice the album art will change shortly. Same podcast, just finally finalizing, finally finalizing. I am finalizing the album art that I had pictured in my head when I started this. Second, hook up with me on social media. I would love to see or I guess see, hear from, see, follow.

I'd love to hear from you. See you on social media. You can find me on Twitter. I'm on Twitter. I'm on Instagram. I'm on Twitter. And Instagram at being on stage. You can also find me on Facebook. I have a page on Facebook called being on stage. Just search it. Should still be the only one that pops up, but it's the same picture is the same as the album art for this podcast. Third, and finally, all two things, I guess third, if you're looking to be better on stage and you want to work with me personally, open to that, contact me, send me an email.

Let's, let's chat. If you've got a couple of questions, I'm 100% open to starting those, that communication to work with you. You can email me Reggie at being on stage. Third, a lot of interesting stuff coming up. I have a lot of offers I'm going to be pushing out there. I'm going to offer to get a free copy of my book that I'm writing. I'll have an offer to, you know, give you like a free session.

Shoot me an email. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns about the podcast. And you know, like I say, always say, just keep on shining, keep on working on yourself because your gifts and talents need to be out in the world. Have a great one guys.